Fuck yeah, it's bird rating time
Down with cynicism, up with the native bird of my choosing! It's our wholesome moment in the sun, Aotearoans. IT'S BIRD OF THE YEAR, BABY.
Bad news is everywhere (especially in my Bluesky feed).
But can we, just for a few minutes, revel in the fact that as of tomorrow (Monday 2 September) it is officially "Hyping your favourite native bird" season?
Look, I am guilty in the past of being very blasé about Bird of the Year (BOTY, to those of us in the know/terminally online). "Oh god, people banging on about birds again, whatever" is definitely something that I have thought, or possibly even said about Bird of the Year, but here's the thing... I FUCKING NEED THIS.
There are many things about New Zealanders that are cringey as fuck, such as our need to be validated by literally every famous foreigner who graces our very fine (probably the best in the world, if someone in another country said it) shores. The way we will only riot in the streets if it's about rugby. Everything Hera Lindsay Bird said that time. We're pretty fucking annoying in a lot of ways.
But.
We can also be extremely wholesome, if somewhat crude. Possibly at the same time.
The way we'd get obsessed with a random bird once every year used to annoy me a bit but now I love it. Is it entirely in keeping with the aforementioned national psyche that I can only admit this after someone overseas (John Oliver) said it first? Obviously, yes, but I've decided to lean into it.
And because frankly, I need a bit of wholesome/cussy bird-hyping in my life and possibly you do too. Which is why I am throwing my support behind...
The badass muthafucker that is...
Kaikōura tītī: Hutton's shearwater (Puffinus huttoni)
Allow me to introduce this sassy seagoing gal. She's a Mainlander who loves to go wandering along the mountain tracks. She is the only seabird globally to breed in a sub-alpine environment with breeding colonies in the Seaward Kaikōura Range at elevations between 1200 to 1800 metres. And you know what that means...
But seriously, my Kaikōura Tītī pals are "in serious trouble" partly because the 2016 Kaikōura earthquake affected their habitat. And if there's one thing I can relate to it's your home being fucked up by an earthquake. Been there, sister.
Also, she's so purdy. In a classy, refined kind of way.
Not convinced?
Imagine pulling off this iconic Joan Collins boss bitch look AS A BABY. This is god-tier level stuff.
So join me, won't you?
- Pick a bird, any bird (but preferably the Kaikōura Tītī) and vote for them (and some others you've deemed outstanding)
- Make stupid memes about said bird, hype that feathery friend with your whole damn chest.
- Be wholesome AF, like the beautiful bird-loving freak that you are.
- Probs helpful to donate some $$ while you're at it
